Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize