Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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