New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
