Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
