i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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