Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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