it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Randomize
