Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
