just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
