you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
