guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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