it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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