does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
