shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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