at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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