I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
