you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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