Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
