We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
