This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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