Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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