goodnight i made you a song goodbye
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
