But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i need some magic done to my vagina
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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