"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
