This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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