I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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