hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
