3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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