Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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