drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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