i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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