I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
