you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Quick, to the slutcave!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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