just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you inspire me to be a worse person
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
