Have you finally orgasmed yet?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize