I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
