You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
