how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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