I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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