Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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