I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
A bitchslap is in order.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
