I think I won the penis lottery.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
