So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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