no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
