Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
