he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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