The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
