Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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