just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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