that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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