So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
