it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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