whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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