This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
