my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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