Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
