Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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