Quick, to the slutcave!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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