I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
