Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
