Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
