omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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