I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
