I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
